It is inevitable that others will hurt or offend you. When you are harmed by another, negative emotions such as anger, resentment or disappointment arises. Later, you may carry a grudge or seek revenge.
Doing so means you continue to suffer the pain of the offence long after it is over.
Holding onto these negative emotion does more harm to you than to the other person.To stop further self-harm, you need to practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is a deliberate decision to release negative feelings towards another, whether they deserve it or not.
Forgiveness is not about ignoring or denying the harm done to you. Neither is forgiveness about forgetting or excusing the offence. Once you forgive, you are not obliged to reconcile with the person who harmed you.
Forgiveness is about finding peace in your troubled heart and freeing yourself from anger's toxicity. You heal by preventing the offence and negative feelings from defining you. With forgiveness, you accept and recognise your pain and suffering. Only then, your healing can begin.
Inspired by Dr. Fred Luskin's Forgive for Good